Maybe I'm Wrong But...

Selfless meditation leads me away from the undercurrents and riptides of the day.  Thus, although I had once fully connected with and, in this fictional blog, controlled a world of people, places, things and ideas, I am off to more selfishly selfless pursuits.

To manage a group of programmers, planet manipulators, and information seekers/gatherers (that people ignorantly call spies in a derogatory sense, unaware that the world is run only by the curious; not, as some would like you to believe, run by spyless (no, I didn't say spineless) leaders), I have had to split into a variety of characters, including ones I didn't like that were too close to my own personality (and ouch! those images hurt!).

To live and walk in the regular world and carry a bunch of heroes and ne'er-do-wells in my thoughts is incongruous (inconceivable!) for me to maintain any level of suburban, mainstream sanity with which I can converse on typical topical topics that most of us understand.

Because I cannot escape the suburban world with ease, I am stuck in it the rest of my life, finding no other comfortable means upon which to live.  I do not desire a highly [expensive] materialistic life based on busting my butt to succeed in some commercially-legal manner.  I would move into a van down by the river if I wasn't married to the wonderful woman who lives with and puts up with my semi-ordinary habits.

I have beat myself with a virtual stick for too long, trying to fit in with others and their lives they personally enjoy.  I'm glad you enjoy your lives, as quiet or loud, as easy or tough as they can be, but they're not for me.

I'm just a lazy ol' fool who likes to write, who habitually writes daily, who looks for new ideas to explore out of curiosity.  I'm not interested in maintaining storylines about secret/open organisations pulling the strings that make our puppet world dance.

In point of fact, my investigation has shown that we use voluntary group coercion to build the illusion that we're controlled by others.  Otherwise, we're social beings tuned to re/act, based on our environment.

If you want to believe you're part of the "in" crowd or not, then that's what you'll be.  Plain and simple.

Everyone is special.  Everyone has talents that often go unused until a crisis arises in someone else's life.  You may save someone else's life, or you may appear as your normal self to a person looking for an example of someone to look up/down to.

As much as it was fun to tap into the technique of listening to what people are not saying and then molding a solar system sized model of what's really going on, I'm not a storyteller who feeds off that kind of storyline forever.  It's too easy to get caught up in the grand delusional god complex and make-believe the storyline is real.  Besides, there's no profit in it for me.  More detrimental to my health than anything else.

I'm just a guy.  These are just words.  Seven billion people have to decide on a constant, daily basis how they're going to coordinate and compromise to keep a world healthy and safe for generations to come.

I'm moving on to the next story, more pedestrian, less worldly.  Or so it will appear... hahaha... ommmmm...