Floating On Borrowed Time

What is this thing, this meme, I carry forward called a staycation?  Am I pulled along by pop culture so easily?

To whom do I owe this moment?

This is my universe, which I control through the words I write, which reflect the interaction with others I gently nudge to give me the information that they nudged from others who nudged from me.

This is all there is and sometimes I still have to ask if this is all there is.

We don't get what's coming to us - we take and we receive and third parties offer opinions on appearances.

The wife sleeps, the cats doze and rain dit-dots Morse code on the sunroom roof.

I am here because I am here, opening a channel to those who are here somewhere else, asking you if you got the message again this time.

Some days, I am all about the repetitions and some days, the repetitions kill me.

In the latter, I start all over again, the new me convincing the dead old me to find newness in otherness that will become oldness once again.

Again?

Yes, again.

The iPad is the slate.

The slate is the canvas.

The canvas is the sky.

A hickory nut startles me with its decaying pattern of bouncing on the metal roof.

Why am I here, channeling the surf, broadcasting the patterns that have ruled my life in and out of my awareness, my consciousness, my superficial soul?

I believe in all of you.  I care about what you do.  Every action you take makes effects, affects others, turns us into relay stations and shorelines.

There is a part of me I don't share with me or you.  It's the part of me I keep under control, push below the written surface, the unpatterned jitteriness that's gelatin on a chilly day in the middle of summer bouncing down a steep hill.

From the noise patterns within me, the words flow in discernible patterns but I live in the noise and the haste and the waste and the quiet and solitude and light and pitter-patter, chitchat, Sasquatch and icecapades.

To meditate on nothing means letting go of the sounds and images that made no sense in the first place so why award second place to randomly selected patterns that write themselves here?

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Do you want to find the pattern in the above which really manifested itself in a blog entry that has yet to be already written?

And still I offer you the simple stuff.

This is not a game.

Your life depends on sorting out the real from the road-weary dust swirls.

How we communicate is not through radio waves and codices and intelligence networks run by retirees.

You don't know why you're here.

I can't tell you what I don't know how to reveal.

I have to repeat the repeat in the peat bog for you to cut out the dead bodies filled with messages hidden in the limelight you can't see because you don't have the blueprints for the power sources that were used.

Let's go deeper.

Are you taking notes?  If so, then throw them away.

Intuition is more than a good plot in a summer blockbuster novel.

Are you still using language to think about what's going on?  If so, then don't waste your time.

Don't worry.  We've got all the time in the world.  Only, at this rate, it'll be your grandchildren's grandchildren's herd in the forgotten back field who figure this out.

Don't think - be.  Don't be - un-be.  Un-be to don't be.  Be and un-be and cancel yourself out of the brainwaves you're using to get past the do-be.

The answers are scattered along the trail.  Close your inner eye and forgot about what you know.  The trail is all.

Notice the patterns.  See the similarity between tree leaves.  Watch the strong winds bend but not break the limbs.

Feel the vibrations in your feet.

Let your body record the change in topography.

Subtlely.

When you become aware that no single place and time is the same, then you have unfolded the flat, three-dimensional map that you always carried in your thoughts.

Finally, you are ready to join the network with those who've acted like you've been with them all along.

When you join a network, the network moves on to something else.  You move with it because you gave yourself up to openness and freedom and equality that that network provides in the one and only moment you and them were part of the network that changed in the next moment.

Moments don't stack - they fade in and out.

This moment and this network are never the same.

Are you ready to join?  Are you prepared to pass messages from a moment to which you just gave yourself completely to the next moment you have to give yourself completely, too, on and on and on without consideration of what the trust and openness and freedom will equate to in moments you'll never know existed?

Do you know your network is already passing messages through you before you gave yourself up to it?

Why should it matter, you ask?

Then you don't know.

I'm here because you are in my network.  I am in your network, even if you don't know it, or even don't know I exist.

This network, this moment, will change.  It just did.  Now it's a new moment with a new network of people and messages and levels of trust and openness changing across interlinked, asynchronous moments into networks we don't have time to assess or explain.

And it changed again before I had time to try to capture the briefest understanding of the messages that made wonderful music with one another on the rooftop above me.

Don't look for the patterns.  Let the patterns flow as if you don't exist.  You'll never completely see the pattern you're creating with the patterns of others around you.  Only they will see and absorb your pattern.

The message that gets passed on is out of our hands.  The fact that we let it go unhindered is the part that matters in this moment.

I had to let the Book of the Future go for a couple of weeks so you could see how it works best when we give in to the networks and messages we see in others and don't see in ourselves.

It only works when you stop paying attention to what others say they see in the patterns you helped create.  You'll never fully see what they see and they'll never fully see what you see.

The Book of the Future doesn't matter.  It exists.  The future happens from network to network and then we go on to the next moment, losing track of the networks past and barely comprehending the possibilities of future networks.

And it starts with you.  You have to be willing to let the positive, negative, life-affirming, life-destroying sounds and images pass through you unhindered.

Willing is not perfection.  Personality traits mean we'll cling to some sounds and images in what we think of as our natural state.  Let the personality traits be - don't dwell on them for any reason -  don't blame/fault yourself for who you are.

No one really cares who you are - they only care what they look like in their idea of what they think you are.

Do you understand the pattern-matching process now?  Do you see why networks and moments come and go in the blink of an eyelid?

You will.  You will trust yourself to be you and then let others be themselves and then open more networks of people and places and time.

I'll be waiting.  I have all day.  I have my whole life.  I have the lives of others who will wait in my place.

All thanks to you.